The Arrow From AARP - Digital Newsletter For Men

Image of author Joel Steel superimposed with cast of MTV Real World Season 4 London with

Inside Dope

My Brush With ‘Real World’ Stardom

On the MTV staple’s 30th anniversary, Joel Stein reflects on what might have been

By Joel Stein

Two men rest with bottles of beer in hand by the fireplace.

Family & Fatherhood

When Can I Drink a Beer With My Son?

It is not about the beer, but about the ritual bonding. And the beer.

By Steve Russell

, May 8, 2022

2 Min Read

Couple sleeping separately in bed with smiley face background

Sex & Relationships

I'm in a Sexless Marriage, and I've Never Been Happier

Sex isn’t the same as intimacy, and I learned that only in my 40s

By Anonymous

, May 8, 2022

2 Min Read

Alex Winter poses with his action figure and comic book collectibles

Money & Career

Are Your Old Comics, Toys and Records Worth Anything?

Nostalgia collecting can make you a millionaire — or an empty-handed chump

By Eric Spitznagel

, May 8, 2022

3 Min Read

Open oysters dines de claire on stone plate with lemon

Eating & Drinking

5 Types of Seafood You Should Be Eating (and What to Avoid)

From the grocery store to dining out, here’s the insider guide to fresh fish

By Paul Greenberg

, May 8, 2022

3 Min Read

Most Popular

Health & Fitness

4 Life Lessons I Learned from Optical Illusions

Puzzles can be metaphors for how we trick ourselves

By A.J. Jacobs

2 Min Read

Man wearing a suit and helmet, driving tiny car

Inside Dope

The New Rules of the Road

By Tom Vanderbilt

, April 26, 2022

A few things have changed since you took your driving test

Health & Fitness

How I Got Back on the B-Ball Court After 50

By Ted Spiker

, April 26, 2022

It’s hard to make a comeback when you’re the oldest guy on the court

Empty nester father sits in child's bedroom

Family & Fatherhood

I’m Going to Be an Empty Nester Soon, and I’m Not Ready

By David Hochman

, April 26, 2022

As my son inches closer to college, I’m pretty sure it’s going to destroy me

Unrecognizable couple sharing a romantic moment in the kitchen

Sex & Relationships

5 Ways to Drive Your Lover Wild (in the Kitchen)

By Bob Larkin

, April 26, 2022

If your sex life seems stale, it may be time to move the action out of the bedroom

Health & Fitness

4 Life Lessons I Learned from Optical Illusions

By A.J. Jacobs

, May 8, 2022

2 Min Read

Inside Dope

The New Rules of the Road

By Tom Vanderbilt

, April 26, 2022

2 Min Read

Health & Fitness

How I Got Back on the B-Ball Court After 50

By Ted Spiker

, April 26, 2022

3 Min Read

Family & Fatherhood

I’m Going to Be an Empty Nester Soon, and I’m Not Ready

By David Hochman

, April 26, 2022

2 Min Read

Sex & Relationships

5 Ways to Drive Your Lover Wild (in the Kitchen)

By Bob Larkin

, April 26, 2022

2 Min Read

Honest. Smart. Aimed at guys like you.

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Spotlight

Illustration of Ben Franklin's head popping out of a hole

Money & Career

What Do You Do When You Have No Retirement Savings?

Three tricks to make your financial future look less scary

By Paul Schrodt

The Arrow Poll

1 of 22

What current news story has you the most alarmed?

Thanks for playing!

Monkeypox, which is apparently not a Brendan Fraser movie.

73%

Gas prices could hit $6.20 per gallon this summer. It'd be cheaper to fill my tank with Wagyu beef.

NASA says they found "something weird" on the Hubble Space Telescope, which I'm pretty sure means we're all doomed.

Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli is out of prison at the exact moment I need to refill my prescriptions.

School gets out soon. How will you be annoying your family this summer?

20%

Monitoring the AC like we think it's part of our Night's Watch oath.

40%

Incapable of applying sunscreen without muttering, to the amusement of nobody but yourself, "It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."

40%

Making the whole family watch "Meatballs" again, because maybe this time they'll be nostalgic for your summer camp memories.

Bonding with them during a family road trip by asking repeatedly, to the point where it counts as a hate crime, "Are you sure nobody has to pee?"

The recent crypto crash wiped out more than $300 billion in digital currencies. Are you concerned?

63%

Not really. I had a feeling I shouldn't use real money to buy imaginary computer money.

31%

If it looks like a Ponzi scheme and crashes like a Ponzi scheme, it's probably a Ponzi scheme.

I just assumed it meant the corpse host from "Tales From the Crypt" was involved in a falling accident. Glad he's okay!

13%

Nope. I plan to go broke the Gen-X way, by investing my entire savings in vinyl records.

David Gergen, the advisor to four U.S. presidents, said it's time for Baby Boomers to pass the political baton "to younger generations — millennials and Gen Z." Hey, what happened to Generation X?

Thanks for playing!

We all died after eating the deadly combo of Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola.

50%

There's an old saying — he who doesn't get picked for dodge ball in gym class doesn't get hit in the nuts.

33%

This is an outrage! We should also have an opportunity to disappoint everybody and leave the world worse than we found it. Or, and just hear us out, maybe we just keep playing Mario Kart and order some pizza instead?

17%

You people seriously don't realize when you've been Keyser Söze'd, do you?

According to a new CNBC/Momentive poll, 52 percent of American adults feel more financial stress than they did a year ago. Why are you stressed about money?

33%

I'm starting to think my comic book collection might not be an air-tight retirement portfolio.

My kids expect me to pay for college, but with climate change and global pandemics, I honestly didn't expect any of us to live this long.

33%

Joking "I can get cheaper gas at Taco Bell" while filling up at the pump doesn't ease the pain like it once did.

25%

Every time I ask my millennial accountant about my investments, he just says "Ok, Boomer."

What special lady will be getting all of your attention on Mother's Day?

Thanks for playing!

My mom.

33%

My wife.

67%

Oh, I see what you did there. Nice try, but I'm not choosing sides. They're both the most important mothers in my life. Nobody takes priority. Except maybe my wife, because I live with her. But my mom, she's the best... I mean, not the only best, because there's also.... I don't mean... I'M DONE WITH THIS CONVERSATION!

Dave Chappelle, 48, got attacked on stage at the Hollywood Bowl, less than a week after Trevor Noah claimed it's "risky making jokes these days.” Do you agree? Is it a dangerous time for humor?

50%

Absolutely! You can't even tell a racist, sexist joke anymore without people calling you a racist or sexist.

38%

It's not risky. Just don't tell hurtful, cruel jokes.

13%

Remember when Bill Murray got in trouble because he "did something I thought was funny?" I feel like that's me every week.

I've never been happier to be the unfunny one in my social circle.

Will there ever be a Gen-X president?

Thanks for playing!

33%

Nope, we missed our chance. When the Boomers age out, there'll be a millennial in the White House next.

33%

Absolutely! A Gen-X president is exactly what this country needs.

33%

Whatever, I don't care.

Inflation is at a 40-year high. Just how worried are you?

17%

Extremely. Milk should not cost more than high-end champagne.

Won't the Federal Reserve swoop in and save the day? Wait, no, I'm thinking of the Avengers. Yeah, we're doomed.

33%

I'll be fine as long as I find a way to stop needing things like food, clothing, gas, and shelter.

42%

Does this mean it's like 1982 again? Finally, my "Frankie Say Relax" t-shirt is back in style!

According to new research from the University of Georgia, the “biggest a**holes” in many people’s lives are middle-aged men. Do you agree?

Thanks for playing!

29%

Listen, if you had doctors constantly putting their fingers up your rectum to fondle your "prostate," you'd be a jerk too.

21%

As it says in the bible, "Let he who's never been a douchenozzle cast the first stone."

43%

You clearly haven't spent a lot of time around preteens.

14%

There is no "I" in a**hole. [Long, awkward pause.] Okay fine, I'm an a**hole.

Is it ever acceptable to put ice in a glass of whiskey?

Thanks for playing!

23%

You trying to hydrate or something? Just stop. "Neat" is the only way to drink it.

46%

Sure. An ice cube or splash of water "opens up" the whiskey and releases its true flavors.

23%

I drink it Keith Richards style, straight from the bottle.

I'll take the ice, hold the whiskey.

What do you wish your kids had (or didn't have) growing up that made our childhoods so special?

Thanks for playing!

43%

No social media.

21%

Playgrounds that were like Thunderdome.

36%

Outside activities without adult supervision.

The phone was attached to the wall.

What "comeback" from our youth are you most excited about?

You did it! Thanks for playing.

22%

Beavis and Butt-Head.

11%

The Cold War.

22%

Christina Ricci starring in new "Addams Family" Netflix series.

44%

Wearing second-hand flannel because it's all you can afford.

Was Will Smith justified in slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars?

Thanks for playing!

56%

Nope. That was assault. It's not like Jada was in physical peril.

13%

Yes! You can't insult a guy's wife and expect no repercussions.

25%

Maybe. Did Rock know about her alopecia before making the joke? Context is everything.

13%

I think the whole thing was staged. Fake news!

Not everybody ages gracefully. What's the most annoying Gen-X at midlife personality type?

You did it! Thanks for playing.

30%

People who say "I don't even know my age" with the same smug superiority of people who brag, "I don't even own a TV."

50%

The guy who tells you not to buy Lollapalooza tickets because it won't be nearly as good as the original festival in the early '90s, which by the way he attended and he's going to tell you all about it whether you're interested or not.

20%

Divorced dude who's dating a woman half his age, and he insists that "she's like a cross between Liz Phair and Janeane Garofalo."

10%

Anyone who shouts "Okay Boomer" at their peers, and then smirks like they just passed an initiation ritual to become 23 again.

Lead exposure may have cost Gen-Xers an average of six IQ points, according to Duke University researchers. Have you noticed the difference?

Thanks for playing!

I believe Alanis Morrissette would call this ironic. Which is to say... wait, what was the question again?

33%

I had to help my kids with new math. New math! They changed math on us! That takes some serious cerebral pivoting.

33%

Is that why I found Beavis & Butthead so relatable?

25%

I have to disconnect the wifi to get my kids off their screens, so don't talk to me about which generation is struggling with IQ.

With the return of nuclear war anxiety, the media is claiming that "Generation X finally has something to offer the young." What Cold War lessons do we have to impart exactly?

Thanks for playing!

17%

You got a desk you can crawl under? You'll be fine.

17%

Watch Sting sing "I hope the Russians love their children too" a thousand times on MTV until it's drilled into your subconscious.

33%

Just have teachers roll out an AV cart during class and play that movie "The Day After" until everyone's sufficiently freaked out.

33%

We pretended to be bored and indifferent and said "Whatever" a lot, and the Soviet Union collapsed. Just saying'. It worked once, so...

One-third of Americans have committed financial infidelity, according to a new poll from CreditCards.com. How else are we being unfaithful?

20%

Netflix infidelity. That new series you promised to wait and binge with her? You've already seen it. The algorithm is your Ashley Madison.

20%

"Daddy's still in the bathroom" infidelity. It's not a gastrointestinal issue, you just want some uninterrupted me time.

20%

Dog praise infidelity. He may be a good boy, but the best boy? How many bellies have you been scratching around town?

50%

Covid infidelity. It's probably just a sore throat. But your boss or the hosts of that party you'd rather skip don't need to know that.

Gen-Xers will be inheriting $30 trillion over the next two decades, according to a new report from analytics firm Cerulli. How should we spend the money?

15%

How much was Pee-Wee Herman's house, the one with the automated breakfast machine and fireman's pole? Never mind, we'll take it!

We're buying back that Wu-Tang Clan album, "Once Upon a Time in Shaolin," from pharma bro Martin Shkreli. And then we'll make a mixtape for everybody.

31%

We'll put it into a trust for our Gen-Z kids. But they can't inherit it until they spend one night... in a haunted house.

46%

We'll invest it all in cryptocurrency. Hahahaha, just kidding. We'll probably invest in some Star Wars action figures still in the box.

According to the Pentagon, the "Nintendo Generation" has weak skeletons from growing up with video games. What are some emotional afflictions you've developed because of excessive gaming?

Thanks for playing!

17%

Crippling fear of spouse being kidnapped by an ape with many, many barrels.

Can't eat our feelings without the constant worry of being chased by ghosts.

25%

Was 30 before I realized everybody in the Old West didn't die from dysentery.

67%

Vague sadness that in real life, you can't just walk around and stumble upon gold coins and free food.

The DeLorean is returning in 2022 as an electric car. Why might you consider buying one?

Thanks for playing!

23%

So I can find out what happens when it hits 88mph.

31%

Slyly asking the dealer if it comes fully loaded with a "flux capacitor," and then winking repeatedly.

23%

The inevitable Twitter feud with Elon Musk over whether Teslas or DeLoreans use more jigowatts.

31%

Finally getting to meddle in the relationships of your ancestors AND save the planet.

Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher said in a new interview that his wild days are over because he's "nearly 50." How are you being wild today despite being 50 or "nearly" 50?

33%

Glass of wine, bubble bath, Yacht Rock playlist.

10%

Didn't even measure out the water before throwing in two teaspoons of fiber supplement. The directions said eight ounces, but I'm a rebel so I eyeballed it.

10%

Friends call me Gandalf the White and not because I'm good at magic.

48%

Almost got into a social media pissing match over whether the Super Bowl Halftime Show was nostalgia for Millennials or Gen-Xers, then thought 'Nah' and made a snack instead.