The Arrow From AARP - Digital Newsletter For Men

Vintage setting of station wagon car packed with vacation gear and the kids are hanging out of the back window

Inside Dope

15 Things We Could Get Away With in the ’80s and ’90s That We Could Never Get Away With Today

Life looked a lot different during the last century

By Corey Levitan

Collage of Todd Brown and Brown's BBQ of Midland, Texas

Eating & Drinking

How I Keep My Father's Memory Alive ... With Barbecue

A son connected with his dad through food, and now he’s doing the same with his kids

By Todd Brown (as told to Adam Erace)

, June 6, 2022

2 Min Read

Woman's hand on man's face about to kiss

Sex & Relationships

The Best Sex I Ever Had

Guys in their 40s and 50s share their favorite sex memories. They aren’t what you think.

By Jesse Will

, January 14, 2022

2 Min Read

Inside Dope

Have You Turned Into Your Dad?

Take this quiz and find out how close you are to reaching peak dad-ness

By David Gross

, June 6, 2022

3 Min Read

Photo composite of a man under a credit card with tools looking like a mechanic trying to fix it.

Money & Career

Credit Rehab: A Gen Xer Guide to Fixing Rotten Credit

Think it’s too late to pull out of a financial sinkhole? Think again

By Bill Stieg

, February 8, 2022

3 Min Read

Most Popular

Actor Bryan Cranston in three different poses wearing a blue shirt and black slacks.

Inside Dope

Sometimes You Have to Let the Bees Sting Your Balls, and Other Life Lessons From Bryan Cranston

The journeyman actor shares some of his wisdom.

By Joel Stein

5 Min Read

Illustration of Ben Franklin's head popping out of a hole

Money & Career

What Do You Do When You Have No Retirement Savings?

By Paul Schrodt

, April 26, 2022

Three tricks to make your financial future look less scary

Father and daughter running along the seashore.

Health & Fitness

The Slightly Older Dad’s Fitness Plan

By Edward Robert McClelland

, June 6, 2022

How to stay active with your kids even when your body wants to stay on the couch

Humorous interpretation of Super Mario on a doctors table getting a colonoscopy.

Inside Dope

17 Things That Will Freak Out Any Gen Xer

By Eric Spitznagel

, February 8, 2022

Further proof that time won’t slow down and nothing stays the same

Family & Fatherhood

What the True Heroes of Fatherhood Really Look Like

By Shaka Senghor

, June 6, 2022

The dads that make a difference are there for all of it, even the stuff that doesn’t get noticed

Inside Dope

Sometimes You Have to Let the Bees Sting Your Balls, and Other Life Lessons From Bryan Cranston

By Joel Stein

, June 21, 2022

5 Min Read

Money & Career

What Do You Do When You Have No Retirement Savings?

By Paul Schrodt

, April 26, 2022

2 Min Read

Health & Fitness

The Slightly Older Dad’s Fitness Plan

By Edward Robert McClelland

, June 6, 2022

2 Min Read

Inside Dope

17 Things That Will Freak Out Any Gen Xer

By Eric Spitznagel

, February 8, 2022

2 Min Read

Family & Fatherhood

What the True Heroes of Fatherhood Really Look Like

By Shaka Senghor

, June 6, 2022

2 Min Read

Honest. Smart. Aimed at guys like you.

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Spotlight

Middle aged woman in bathtub, head resting on hands, smiling.

Sex & Relationships

What Single Women Wish Divorced Men Knew About Dating

What worked when you were younger isn’t having the same effect on us today

By Anka Radakovich

The Arrow Poll

1 of 32

What's your favorite summer memory that, in hindsight, could have been the thing that killed you?

Thanks for playing!

67%

Drinking delicious lead from the garden hose.

Sitting out in the sun all day, slathered in Coppertone with an SPF of negative 2.

33%

Doing Evel Knievel tricks on a Schwinn bike, sans helmet or even shoes.

One word: Jarts

Got any big 4th of July plans?

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50%

I'm declaring my independence... from these PANTS!

25%

Fireworks in sky go bang, me go "Whoooooo!"

If it comes within two feet of my grill and I can catch it, it's what's for dinner.

25%

Just like the Founding Fathers did, with beer and cornhole.

Roger Murtaugh (played by Danny Glover) was just 50 years old in 1987's "Lethal Weapon" when he first uttered those immortal words: "I'm too old for this sh*t." What about you? Are you, at this moment, in this weird place in history, feeling too old for this sh*t?

Thanks for playing!

80%

I'm not too old for this sh*t, but I'm considering turning off the phone and the computer so this sh*t doesn't make me old.

10%

I will not be too old for this sh*t until it says to me "OK Boomer," but when that happens, yes, I'm done.

20%

Last night, I stayed up till 10pm getting into a political argument with a stranger on Facebook. So yes, apparently I am too old for this sh*t.

20%

Not only am I too old for this sh*t, I'm about to start screaming at this sh*t to get off my lawn. I will call the police on this sh*t if it doesn't turn that racket down. I'm becoming Ralph Furley and I'm okay with that.

With everything happening in the news lately, how are you feeling today?

23%

Sad.

19%

Numb.

19%

Full of rage.

42%

Just want to get in the car and drive to nowhere in particular, the windows down, the warm summer air washing over my face, singing along to my favorite tunes till I'm hoarse.

It's baseball season, baby! Why do you love going to a ballgame?

60%

Stadium beer slightly less expensive than gasoline.

A great way to bond with your son without making eye contact.

27%

Another chance to catch a foul ball while holding a baby and then hand it to a kid sitting nearby who hugs you and the video goes viral.

27%

The only place where your George Brett hemorrhoids jokes still get a laugh.

Fatherhood isn't the same as during your dad and grandfather's time. What's the most encouraging way being a dad has changed?

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21%

More dads are staying home to care for their kids.

37%

It’s become less common for dads to be their family’s sole breadwinner.

37%

"Dad bods are sexy" is now a valid justification for finishing that entire pizza in one sitting.

11%

My dad band has a gig at the Olive Garden next weekend, and I think our Rush-meets-Smashmouth sound is finally finding its audience.

A new Harris Poll found that 33 percent of men think it's fine to skip an annual health screening. How often do you visit your doctor?

60%

At least once a year.

20%

I'll go eventually, but I always wait until after I've googled my symptoms and have completely freaked myself out.

Who has time for doctors? I've done just fine by asking my buddies, "Does this mole look weird to you?"

15%

I prefer to wait till I get to travel to the hospital in style — by ambulance.

Beavis and Butt-Head are returning this summer, with a new movie and TV series. What classic Beavis and Butt-Head quote from the '90s really sums up what it's like to be middle-aged?

You did it! Thanks for playing.

48%

"The more things change, the more they suck."

10%

"I'm, like, angry at numbers."

17%

"Uh... I've got a crisis.. in my pants."

28%

"We'll get cars and like, we'll get jobs, and we'll have to like, mow lawns and scrub the grill, but we're never gonna score ever! It's gonna suck!"

What's your idea of the perfect summer afternoon?

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46%

Grilling in the backyard with some friends.

25%

Sipping on a cold beer at a baseball game.

29%

Taking a road trip and beating the GPS predicted arrival time.

11%

Turning up the thermostat every few hours and announcing to the room, "I'm not made of money!"

How will you be celebrating Memorial Day?

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I'm going to buy something I don't need and will never use because it's on sale and this is America.

63%

Nothing. Have you seen the price of gas? I'm celebrating from my couch.

13%

I'm inviting over friends and family and hoping to God nobody brings up anything political.

25%

I'm going to honor the true meaning of this holiday by seeing "Top Gun: Maverick" on the biggest screen possible and then shouting "I've got the need for speed" to random strangers.

What current news story has you the most alarmed?

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Monkeypox, which is apparently not a Brendan Fraser movie.

77%

Gas prices could hit $6.20 per gallon this summer. It'd be cheaper to fill my tank with Wagyu beef.

17%

NASA says they found "something weird" on the Hubble Space Telescope, which I'm pretty sure means we're all doomed.

Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli is out of prison at the exact moment I need to refill my prescriptions.

School gets out soon. How will you be annoying your family this summer?

32%

Monitoring the AC like we think it's part of our Night's Watch oath.

47%

Incapable of applying sunscreen without muttering, to the amusement of nobody but yourself, "It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."

16%

Making the whole family watch "Meatballs" again, because maybe this time they'll be nostalgic for your summer camp memories.

Bonding with them during a family road trip by asking repeatedly, to the point where it counts as a hate crime, "Are you sure nobody has to pee?"

The recent crypto crash wiped out more than $300 billion in digital currencies. Are you concerned?

66%

Not really. I had a feeling I shouldn't use real money to buy imaginary computer money.

31%

If it looks like a Ponzi scheme and crashes like a Ponzi scheme, it's probably a Ponzi scheme.

I just assumed it meant the corpse host from "Tales From the Crypt" was involved in a falling accident. Glad he's okay!

Nope. I plan to go broke the Gen-X way, by investing my entire savings in vinyl records.

David Gergen, the advisor to four U.S. presidents, said it's time for Baby Boomers to pass the political baton "to younger generations — millennials and Gen Z." Hey, what happened to Generation X?

Thanks for playing!

17%

We all died after eating the deadly combo of Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola.

22%

There's an old saying — he who doesn't get picked for dodge ball in gym class doesn't get hit in the nuts.

22%

This is an outrage! We should also have an opportunity to disappoint everybody and leave the world worse than we found it. Or, and just hear us out, maybe we just keep playing Mario Kart and order some pizza instead?

39%

You people seriously don't realize when you've been Keyser Söze'd, do you?

According to a new CNBC/Momentive poll, 52 percent of American adults feel more financial stress than they did a year ago. Why are you stressed about money?

19%

I'm starting to think my comic book collection might not be an air-tight retirement portfolio.

14%

My kids expect me to pay for college, but with climate change and global pandemics, I honestly didn't expect any of us to live this long.

43%

Joking "I can get cheaper gas at Taco Bell" while filling up at the pump doesn't ease the pain like it once did.

24%

Every time I ask my millennial accountant about my investments, he just says "Ok, Boomer."

What special lady will be getting all of your attention on Mother's Day?

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14%

My mom.

43%

My wife.

50%

Oh, I see what you did there. Nice try, but I'm not choosing sides. They're both the most important mothers in my life. Nobody takes priority. Except maybe my wife, because I live with her. But my mom, she's the best... I mean, not the only best, because there's also.... I don't mean... I'M DONE WITH THIS CONVERSATION!

Dave Chappelle, 48, got attacked on stage at the Hollywood Bowl, less than a week after Trevor Noah claimed it's "risky making jokes these days.” Do you agree? Is it a dangerous time for humor?

41%

Absolutely! You can't even tell a racist, sexist joke anymore without people calling you a racist or sexist.

29%

It's not risky. Just don't tell hurtful, cruel jokes.

24%

Remember when Bill Murray got in trouble because he "did something I thought was funny?" I feel like that's me every week.

I've never been happier to be the unfunny one in my social circle.

Will there ever be a Gen-X president?

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29%

Nope, we missed our chance. When the Boomers age out, there'll be a millennial in the White House next.

29%

Absolutely! A Gen-X president is exactly what this country needs.

43%

Whatever, I don't care.

Inflation is at a 40-year high. Just how worried are you?

25%

Extremely. Milk should not cost more than high-end champagne.

10%

Won't the Federal Reserve swoop in and save the day? Wait, no, I'm thinking of the Avengers. Yeah, we're doomed.

40%

I'll be fine as long as I find a way to stop needing things like food, clothing, gas, and shelter.

35%

Does this mean it's like 1982 again? Finally, my "Frankie Say Relax" t-shirt is back in style!

According to new research from the University of Georgia, the “biggest a**holes” in many people’s lives are middle-aged men. Do you agree?

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29%

Listen, if you had doctors constantly putting their fingers up your rectum to fondle your "prostate," you'd be a jerk too.

14%

As it says in the bible, "Let he who's never been a douchenozzle cast the first stone."

43%

You clearly haven't spent a lot of time around preteens.

19%

There is no "I" in a**hole. [Long, awkward pause.] Okay fine, I'm an a**hole.

Is it ever acceptable to put ice in a glass of whiskey?

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16%

You trying to hydrate or something? Just stop. "Neat" is the only way to drink it.

42%

Sure. An ice cube or splash of water "opens up" the whiskey and releases its true flavors.

26%

I drink it Keith Richards style, straight from the bottle.

16%

I'll take the ice, hold the whiskey.

What do you wish your kids had (or didn't have) growing up that made our childhoods so special?

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50%

No social media.

15%

Playgrounds that were like Thunderdome.

25%

Outside activities without adult supervision.

20%

The phone was attached to the wall.

What "comeback" from our youth are you most excited about?

You did it! Thanks for playing.

27%

Beavis and Butt-Head.

20%

The Cold War.

13%

Christina Ricci starring in new "Addams Family" Netflix series.

40%

Wearing second-hand flannel because it's all you can afford.

Was Will Smith justified in slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars?

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48%

Nope. That was assault. It's not like Jada was in physical peril.

10%

Yes! You can't insult a guy's wife and expect no repercussions.

24%

Maybe. Did Rock know about her alopecia before making the joke? Context is everything.

24%

I think the whole thing was staged. Fake news!

Not everybody ages gracefully. What's the most annoying Gen-X at midlife personality type?

You did it! Thanks for playing.

27%

People who say "I don't even know my age" with the same smug superiority of people who brag, "I don't even own a TV."

40%

The guy who tells you not to buy Lollapalooza tickets because it won't be nearly as good as the original festival in the early '90s, which by the way he attended and he's going to tell you all about it whether you're interested or not.

20%

Divorced dude who's dating a woman half his age, and he insists that "she's like a cross between Liz Phair and Janeane Garofalo."

20%

Anyone who shouts "Okay Boomer" at their peers, and then smirks like they just passed an initiation ritual to become 23 again.

Lead exposure may have cost Gen-Xers an average of six IQ points, according to Duke University researchers. Have you noticed the difference?

Thanks for playing!

11%

I believe Alanis Morrissette would call this ironic. Which is to say... wait, what was the question again?

28%

I had to help my kids with new math. New math! They changed math on us! That takes some serious cerebral pivoting.

22%

Is that why I found Beavis & Butthead so relatable?

39%

I have to disconnect the wifi to get my kids off their screens, so don't talk to me about which generation is struggling with IQ.

With the return of nuclear war anxiety, the media is claiming that "Generation X finally has something to offer the young." What Cold War lessons do we have to impart exactly?

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11%

You got a desk you can crawl under? You'll be fine.

11%

Watch Sting sing "I hope the Russians love their children too" a thousand times on MTV until it's drilled into your subconscious.

39%

Just have teachers roll out an AV cart during class and play that movie "The Day After" until everyone's sufficiently freaked out.

39%

We pretended to be bored and indifferent and said "Whatever" a lot, and the Soviet Union collapsed. Just saying'. It worked once, so...

One-third of Americans have committed financial infidelity, according to a new poll from CreditCards.com. How else are we being unfaithful?

14%

Netflix infidelity. That new series you promised to wait and binge with her? You've already seen it. The algorithm is your Ashley Madison.

36%

"Daddy's still in the bathroom" infidelity. It's not a gastrointestinal issue, you just want some uninterrupted me time.

14%

Dog praise infidelity. He may be a good boy, but the best boy? How many bellies have you been scratching around town?

43%

Covid infidelity. It's probably just a sore throat. But your boss or the hosts of that party you'd rather skip don't need to know that.

Gen-Xers will be inheriting $30 trillion over the next two decades, according to a new report from analytics firm Cerulli. How should we spend the money?

12%

How much was Pee-Wee Herman's house, the one with the automated breakfast machine and fireman's pole? Never mind, we'll take it!

12%

We're buying back that Wu-Tang Clan album, "Once Upon a Time in Shaolin," from pharma bro Martin Shkreli. And then we'll make a mixtape for everybody.

29%

We'll put it into a trust for our Gen-Z kids. But they can't inherit it until they spend one night... in a haunted house.

47%

We'll invest it all in cryptocurrency. Hahahaha, just kidding. We'll probably invest in some Star Wars action figures still in the box.

According to the Pentagon, the "Nintendo Generation" has weak skeletons from growing up with video games. What are some emotional afflictions you've developed because of excessive gaming?

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13%

Crippling fear of spouse being kidnapped by an ape with many, many barrels.

Can't eat our feelings without the constant worry of being chased by ghosts.

25%

Was 30 before I realized everybody in the Old West didn't die from dysentery.

69%

Vague sadness that in real life, you can't just walk around and stumble upon gold coins and free food.

The DeLorean is returning in 2022 as an electric car. Why might you consider buying one?

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35%

So I can find out what happens when it hits 88mph.

24%

Slyly asking the dealer if it comes fully loaded with a "flux capacitor," and then winking repeatedly.

18%

The inevitable Twitter feud with Elon Musk over whether Teslas or DeLoreans use more jigowatts.

29%

Finally getting to meddle in the relationships of your ancestors AND save the planet.

Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher said in a new interview that his wild days are over because he's "nearly 50." How are you being wild today despite being 50 or "nearly" 50?

27%

Glass of wine, bubble bath, Yacht Rock playlist.

12%

Didn't even measure out the water before throwing in two teaspoons of fiber supplement. The directions said eight ounces, but I'm a rebel so I eyeballed it.

19%

Friends call me Gandalf the White and not because I'm good at magic.

42%

Almost got into a social media pissing match over whether the Super Bowl Halftime Show was nostalgia for Millennials or Gen-Xers, then thought 'Nah' and made a snack instead.